In a previous video (see here), I shared a way to begin to sort out your system members into two basic categories. In this video, I’m going to talk about a way to further categorize alters in one of those two basic categories.
You’ll remember that one of the two basic categories of alters or parts is that of EPs or emotional parts. These alters that are EPs can be organized into subcategories. There’s no reason you HAVE to do this. It can be one way of making some sense out of of what can seem chaotic and overwhelming as you are first getting used to the reality that you have a system.
As I describe these kinds of alters, I want you to keep in mind that each type is focused on protecting the system and body in a particular way. As it true with all alters, each of these types of parts is attempting to help the system in the only way they know.
The first type of parts or alters is fight parts. These parts are often angry. They are stuck in a fight response. That is, they respond to threats aggressively. This doesn’t mean that they are physically aggressive. They might instead be verbally aggressive, making threats or being belligerent. These parts are oriented to protect the system and body through the defense of fight. Characteristics of fight parts include being angry, judgmental, or controlling. These alters can be self-destructive. Fight parts are likely to be suspicious and slow to trust, which makes sense. It is important to understand that fight parts can also be activated against what they view as internal threats.
Flight parts are also seeking to protect the system and the body, but they do it through avoiding or fleeing from potential dangers and threats. Flight parts like to keep distance between the system and potential threats. This might show up as ambivalence or an inability to commit to things or people. Flight parts may also create distance between the system and body and potential threats through disordered eating or addictive behaviors. Flight parts want to maintain an escape route.
Fear parts are focused on keeping the system from being noticed since being noticed as a child led to bad things happening. Fear parts are often terrified, not surprisingly. They are desperate to not be seen or noticed. These parts may be agoraphobic, meaning they do not feel safe outside of your home even when there is no danger present. These parts may experience panic attacks.
Shame parts are full of shame. They are likely depressed. Shame parts are often filled with self-hatred. Shame parts are passive. These parts are the “good girls” and “good boys.” They may be caretakers and self-sacrificing. Shame parts are often avoided or even reviled by other system members because they hold experiences that other parts have deemed disgusting or shameful. These parts can be very isolated and desperately lonely.
Needy parts are often young child parts. These parts just want someone who will take care of them and that they can depend upon. These parts are desperate for attention and connection. They are sweet and innocent.
Some parts imitate your abusers. These parts are called perpetrator-imitating alters, which is a mouthful! These parts may resemble abusers from your past and they may even believe they ARE the abusers. Other members of the system may also mistakenly believe this. These parts shame, threaten, or punish other system members. For more information about these parts, see my series on perpetrator imitating parts.
And, finally, we come to helper parts. Helper parts are a wonderful resource for systems that have them. Unfortunately, not all systems have helper parts. Helper parts are focused on taking care of other members of the system. In the same way perpetrator-imitating parts may resemble an abuser, these helper parts might be based on someone kind in the child’s life, whether that was a kind neighbor or teacher or a character from a movie. These helper alters may handle soothing upset child parts.
This is a broad overview of parts that I hope will help you begin to make sense of the behaviors and attitudes of some of your headmates as you are coming to understand your DID or OSDD and your system. Was this helpful? Leave me a comment!